The ultimate best and worst dressed list of the year is here! God I love this stuff, but I have to say I was BEYOND disappointed at this Oscar's fashion. When I watch the Oscars, I expect Oscar's level dresses, and everything was kind of just ho-hum. There were undoubtedly a few standouts, the few who looked epic and truly glamorous in every sense of the word, and those are my best dressed below.
But then there were those who make you want to get the flu because the flu just has to be better than looking at those dresses, right? RIGHT? I really don't understand what some of the worst dressed were thinking when they woke up. These are all very famous, high profile women who not only missed the mark, but they literally make me want to get sick with an actual illness, their dresses are that bad.
I suppose you should take a look for yourself and see if you agree.
~~~~~BEST~~~~~
JULIANNE MOORE
Now this is a dress. It's embellished beautifully and is really breathtaking. You know how I generally feel about Julianne Moore in lighter colors, but she looks so gorgeous and she actually pulls this off quite delicately and lovely. Completely statuesque for the shoe-in for the statue tonight.
ROSAMUND PIKE
Another Oscars-perfect look. Head-to-toe glamour, with beautiful makeup and hair, Rosamund had a clear vision for the Oscars and she nailed it better than almost every other lady on the carpet. Winning.
While I feel like we see the same variation of the same dress on Reese every awards, the girl has a formula that clearly works. This is one of the most classic looks on the carpet and she looks flawless. Utterly and completely flawless. When I grow up, I wanna be Reese.
BEHATI PRINSLOO & CHRISSY TIEGEN
It was a tie for these two women who are the modern versions of getting the Oscars right. These gowns are not necessarily throwbacks to old Hollywood, but they represent everything that is new Hollywood. Both women are perfection. #GirlCrush
LUPITA NYONG'O
An entire dress made of pearls. AN ENTIRE DRESS MADE OF PEARLS! I want to touch her dress.
Shield thine eyes.
~~~~WORST~~~~~
FELICITY JONES
Can you BELIEVE that this hideous blob of material is designed and made by the same designer as Kate Middleton's wedding gown?? This dress is an insult to silk, to pearls, to turtlenecks, to the color grey, and really to humanity, when you think about it.
NICOLE KIDMAN
This is the most unfortunate thing I have ever seen a human being wear, EVER. This is not a dress; this is the contact paper that your mom used to cover your books on the first day of school in first through fifth grade, only with a completely unnecessary red belt on it. And have you seen that hem? I'm pretty sure that hem has been outlawed since 1997 and it's practically a crime in 32 states last I checked.
SCARLETT JOHANASSON
Scarlett, we know you have boobs. Big ones. You didn't need a hideous green spiderweb pointing at your cleavage to remind us that God did not make all boobs equal. Even the arrows on your dress are pointing at your boobs. WE GET IT, OK. To do cleavage right, see: Chrissy Tiegen, Jennifer Lopez.
MARION COTILLARD
Booooring. I just fell asleep looking at this dress. WARNING: This dress may induce epilepsy. It's not glamorous, it's not remotely sophisticated, and it really doesn't fit well. It's mostly just blah, and sorta swiss cheese-y. This is a big pile of MEH.
LORELAI LINKLATER
This is not even a matter of personal style, this is just ugly. I mean, it's no Nicole Kidman, but it's pretty freaking ugly. It's a bad Rorscarch Test mixed with a Chinese food takeout box. Also you can almost/sorta see her vagina. Did no one tell her that vaginas are not allowed at the Oscars? To do almost vagina, see: Chrissy Tiegen.