Oscars Worst Dressed!

Haaa-choo! God bless me! ...because He certainly did NOT bless these four ladies. Way to disappoint in ways that were unfathomable to me. 

I decided to post these heinous crimes against humanity first so that I don't leave you with a bad taste in your mouth when I present to you the utter beauty that traipsed its way along the red carpet.  

These four, quite obviously, do not make the cut.

Scarlett Johannason
Epic fail. This is the Libya of dresses.

Melissa Leo

My grandma had doily that looked just like that.

Marisaa Tomei

Apparently it IS possible to highlight all the wrong parts of you. That sweetheart neckline is just way too high, and the asymmetrical disaster going on down below makes for a truly horrendous silhouette.

Nicole Kidman

Congratulations, Nicole, for reminding us you have hips. If you hadn't worn that dress, I might have forgotten. This is a huge Kimono-no